my husband has a weird relationship with his sister

When I met up with his circle of friends, Melinda sat down next to me. Now His Family Hates Me.". But because she's a doctor with three kids and you're a single teacher, your dad loves to try to pit the two of you against each other. Well, I downed that glass of wine. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. You love them with your all, but the love is different. My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. -- ONLY THE WIFE. As our society is like that.. This can be via expression or gestures or simply by making love. You have your importance in his life, and she has hers. In such situations, its better to avoid arguments. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. Miss Manners: What should I have done about this rudeness to a waiter? He may be able to take this thing from the right perspective.Always remember, not everything is as it is seen.There could be more truth to the sentence.Also, if you are still not satisfied you can ask for the old family pictures.You can observe how the family reacts to their bonding.Maybe this would actually be normal for them. Listen: These 36 questions will make you fall in love. 2. We have two boys, ages 2 years and 7 months. That'll go over incredibly well.. We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. Community Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this site. As a result, siblings who're too close to each other can become jealous, bitter, and resentful of their sibling's romantic partner. All Access Digital offer for just 99 cents! I am not jealous, I know what jealousy feels like, this is genuine discomfort and confusion. Really? You both will get relaxing time to spend together. Hoping for some explanation. He's trying to make you jealous and you absolutely need to be worried because you have to ask him why he's doing this. He is your husband; you got into this marriage because you love and care for each other. (I foresee spending the rest of my life with him, awww ok). Remember, theyve always been dependent on one another before you came into the picture. Login first Spending more time with his sister will help you understand their bond much better. Same with how your house hunt is going, or how your dog is recovering from surgery, or whatever else. She might have good insights into the business. When I do see her, Im a gray rock. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. I feel like no matter what I do I look crazy. When she comes to visit she brings . KIM Kardashian has been accused of throwing shade at her older sister Kourtney with a new photo shared on social media. If there is stress and tension the two of you cant resolve together, you may need to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): A "I expected her to be like my parents, but she was just, well, not," Jo said. Right now they have plausible deniability but the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger. Bring him things that he has a soft corner for. He has shared a major part of his life with her. He makes disrespectful comments to your face and behind your back. Home Our homepage; Why Why choose us; Courses See our courses; Faculty Meet our Professors; Timetable Check our timetable; Admission How to enroll; Contact Contact us Your email address will not be published. I walked out of the room and saw my sister and husband on the couch. I don't have a brother so I don't know if this is normal. Tell it delicately, dont make it too biting. She should say she overheard something concerning and wants to know what they were discussing. Make that reason more meaningful. Hes on autopilot, giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. male Also, all examples involving people or clients are hypothetical amalgams, not actual people. But, Im guessing that because they have no parents, and their family has abandoned them, that theyve developed a bond in which they are totally reliant upon one another, and they both fear abandonment. You may not know where you fit in. Im throwing up the deuces, and Im taking your a** for everything. So if it happens with a random girl, it is very suspicious. There were plenty of things to fight about. Please help. Good luck! Samantha Rodman Whiten June 24, 2018. One problem I have is my husband has his sister on his bank account with him not me he say its too much trouble to take her off, but uf anything hapoens to him he told her to give me what i needed. Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com, Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter: @terrancedean. Hello! However, let us study it deeply to find a solid solution. I am certain you will fail. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. Its because the two kinds of love are different. If it does, then move on. She has to act like wifey to make people think that. At the end of the day, the big problem with his indifference is the burden it puts on you to be the functioning adult in the relationship. Youve expressed how you feel, and youve gone above and beyond by being respectful to his sister, and not engaging her in her little childish antics. DEAR ABBY: I dont know how to handle this. My mother caught me and my sister fucking she closed the door and left us to it, after she said i know it happens and in some ways i am pleased you are bonding, but take precautions we dont want any unplanned births. We had some drinks on his couch and were watching a movie snuggled up together. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. 3.Your husband is the father of your sisters baby." However, someone else suggested the boyfriend may have tokophobia - the fear of pregnancy. But to me there is such a thing as 'too close'. I backed out of the bedroom and walked back into the kitchen where Jack was cleaning up and I told him that Melinda was in his bed. I feel like avoiding his family altogether now, he can deal with them on his own. My husband says Im overreacting. Of course, you work. I get so triggered by the whole feet in lap thing because thats how I found out my ex was cheating on me! The hell!!??!! She has always been involved in the family and does not have a boyfriend. Your email address will not be published. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, is a Marriage and Family Therapist. I just wish they could acknowledge my existence haha. She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him. His parents were out that night, it was going to be a struggle to get home as we did not live that close to each other. One person even called it creepy. This woman sounds like the type who will try to have your children sucking on her tit trying to breast feed them, and cutting you out of the pictures of their photo album and replacing her face with yours. male I don't know how to bring this up with my in-laws. When I tried talking to my husband about it, he got offended. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. He pushes me away from him when she walks in the room. No matter how much your husband is deeply connected with his sister, after marriage, there needs a call for some privacy. 9. The way to a mans heart is through his stomach. She can help you in solving the problem. Don't have an account? Is he as into this as she is? Maintain marital privacy. And, vise versa he is those things for her. Lol imagine if they're always like that and you moved out together and his sister still comes over to cuddle up to him. I got married 3 months ago. Exactly this. However, you need to understand that it might be because they have shared their childhood and have been brought up in such a way that they try to complement each other. Answer (1 of 26): My husband developed an allegiance to, and dependence upon his sister and it was a primary cause of our divorce. I empathize with your frustration. Required fields are marked *. It sounds like your sister-in-law may be very protective of her brother and jealous of his relationship with you. [Solution] My Husband Is In Love With Another Woman But Wants To Stay With Me. Nope, nope, nope. It's only when they're alone and think you're asleep in bed, oblivious. Relationships are founded on love. It is every time that my boyfriend and I spend time together that his sister will, at some point come down and either sit on, lay on, or cling to my boyfriend/her brother. Now just to clarify, Melinda was 21 years old at the time. And if you're okay with coming in second (not including children), you . Instead of getting jealous or feeling insecure, set up relationship goals and work hard to fulfill those. At the end of the conversation she said something that stuck in my mind. However, worry not! How long had she been there? Terrance Dean. Last time we saw her, he was telling her about our finances. In such cases, try to control your husbands finances. You and your husband havent decided on getting pregnant yet. She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. |. Try new things and make them more enjoyable. For example, and of course these details are only hypothetical, you could say, I was frustrated when I heard you telling your sister about how much money I make. Defying laws and societal taboos, one couple shares their undeniable connection. The fact that a 14yr old is still doing this is weird as heck to me and your boyfriend should have put a stop to it at some point. Even when on vacation for work, he gets something from her while he might not always bring presents for you. Either your husband has been harbouring love for your sister and he's devastated she's having a baby with someone else. When a husband is told to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, I believe that leaving extends to other family members. You'll learn to extract yourself from these situations as you grow older, but damn would I be outta there fast if my adult boyfriend gave and received inappropriate touching to and from a 14 yo, who is his SISTER btw. Miss Manners: I shouldn't call because the phone scares people? She has taken on the role of his mother, and may feel the need to be protective of him, which comes across as overbearing, overprotective, and incestuous. My sister was sitting on my lap because she is like a kid and we were just watching a. movie. He sees a reason to get offended at the way you talk, the way you look, your sitting position and other similar things. Really? I'd definitely file this as weird. 29 Votes So, if you and your sibling need that much time together, then Ill make this easy for the both of you. Staring at his sisters boobs is gross, yes. He won't talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so I'm guessing he doesn't love me. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. So, they know it's not right and that it would make you uncomfortable, do not let either one of them gaslight you out of your feelings when you do raise it. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? (Includes, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc.) It may be uncomforting, and/or he may feel ashamed by showing affection to another woman. It might even be that he spends more on his sister than he does on you. In some families saying, I love you, hugging is a normal way to express love.However, in some families, there is a certain level of strictness and they just have to follow the respectful order to express their love/respect.You probably just need to expand your level of understanding.Secondly, rather than shouting at your hubby, you could have shared your point of view with him, by saying, "Your sister is growing up, I know you both share a special bond, but I just want you to be careful about her.So that she doesn't get into any trouble these days! Picture Perfect Poster Girl: Taylour Paige Stars As "Boogie's" Leading Lady, Must Be Niiiice: The Most Extravagant Valentine's Day Gifts Of 2023, UPDATE: Jesseca Dupart Denies That LisaRaye Found Out About Da Brat's Pregnancy Via Social Media, Your Weekly Helping Of Tidday Meats & Treats On The Gram, Cougar Chronicles! He has no traces of calls or texts on his cell phone. Chile, by the way they are acting he and her both need the side eye with the lips pursed and the stank look. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Would dismantling Interstate 980 repair damage to Black neighborhoods? It may be the reason he is spending time with her. If you are the only child of your parents, you might not have experienced sibling relationships this closely before. However, what they don't realize is that if you delete all your calls and texts it looks very odd. Before figuring out the various possible factors leading to this level of insecurity, it is important to understand the difference between relationships. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he brings her up in every conversation. No, scratch that. No idea what to do now. I don't disclose anything to her about my life, I keep our . You can both have each other. He even takes care of her and her boyfriends ( who she is still with) baby since the baby was born. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you dont dance like a gazelle -- few people do -- and let it go. Please dont allow him to put you in this awkward spot. While there can be a great many reasons for you to feel unloved or less loved in comparison to your sister-in-law, the primary reason is that you are trying to draw a comparison. reader, raiders+, writes (27 April 2010): A They text each other frequently and are always very happy to see each other. Research supports that those of us who are socially connected are healthier, have fewer stress-related problems, and recover from trauma and illness faster. I have seen that my sister-in-law is a bit weird. And till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, If He Overshares About Your Sex Life, All Bets Are Off. This might give hints to her and try to work on her habit. In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole . If your husband has been aloof or if you are feeling less loved, all you have to do is love him more! If your husband takes his sisters side in all the arguments, it might put you in a difficult spot. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA . When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. Best of luck, and if you want some reading on BPD, a good book isLoving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder (dont worry, Im not telling you to love her, but its a helpful book about dealing with those with BPD). She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. However, always remember that you are unique. He was intelligent and good looking. This reminds me of something from the 1950s where the wife is miserable, but has to change everything to make herself happy. And #2. When she found out we were getting married she was overjoyed. Im certain they told one another that no matter what happens or whats going on that they will never let anyone come into their lives and replace the other. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. I find the stigma and the misconceptions surrounding my diagnosis quite hurtful. female Noel Hendrickson / Getty. Do I ask her what was said? Im just asking. 1. Ask for help. Hell, Ill be damned if Im in a relationship with someone, and married to them, and they are always choosing their sibling over me. An emotionally distant husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations. So, I feel like doing just that. And #2. My husband says Im overreacting. We started chatting and I asked her if she was seeing anyone. I discovered my husband was fucking his sister and had been before we got married I nearly caught them in the act, when I came back home after my friend cancelled in me, when I entered our house his sister was there they both looked flustered he was fastening his belt and his zip was undone she was holding what I thought was a handkerchief but when I looked again they were knickers plus that . 1) The lie like this is too intricate to invent and tell. Wait to see if it continues. I started to notice that 9 out of 10 times we went out, Melinda would be there. If she wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated on you. or situations/content involving minors. This will keep things clear, and you will spend quality time with him. If you are concerned that your grandson will see something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. Her story: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way. At times, we get jealous and feel insecure for wrong reasons. They slept in the same bed on a regular basis and that was normal for them. After everyone had left, I started to get ready for bed. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. Address it with him once and see how he responds. He gets so irritated that you begin to wonder if you changed overnight. The bond between them is one you will never be able to develop between you and he because he has already decided that his sister means more to him than anything. Copyright 2023 Bennett, Coleman & Co. Ltd. All rights reserved.For reprint rights: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way.She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. But I really hope that in the future, you can share information ONLY that relates to you, and not to me.. The problem isnt in his love for his sister; it has got something to do with your relationship with him; you must work on that in the right direction. I was tired so after dinner I decided to lay down. Required fields are marked *. Tell him beforehand that that day you will spend away from home together. If he is a connoisseur of something, get him something valuable to add to his collection. I've never been a cuddly person towards my family but my brother and sister from my Dad and stepmoms side were like this. exactly what im thinking. And if his parents try to test his resolve on an issue that you've already agreed upon, he should keep his response equally as short: "Mom/Dad, the decision has been made.". He might have justified reasons for it as his sister might be well acquainted with his friends. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Harriette Cole: I forgot about this favor, and I feel like such a loser. The feet in the lap shows a a high level of complicity. They would crawl into bed with me in the mornings when I'd come to visit. a littlebut honestlythat was only the beginning. My husband and sister are very close. Youve worked hard, and gave all your love. No, your husband is not on the wrong side if he loves his sister. They share the same bed. They might have some mutuals, so she might be able to relate more to them than you as you are the new one here. 2. She even tries to play mother to my kids sometimes. That is really weird is there some context that could explain their closeness? And, look here, if he is choosing his sister over you, telling her all your business, inviting her on your date nights without your consent, and hes not willing to communicate with you, has stopped showing you affection and love, and he has told you that hes had enough and for you to leave, then, maam, its time to leave! im not sure how to bring this up to him but he is very kind. Updated: Aug. 12, 2020. Recreating memories can consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been forming in between. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. So here . It's grossly inappropriate. Brother- Sister situationMy boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because-1. I do however believe that there is some sort of weird/abnormal attachment/obsession between the two of them and Id just like an outside opinion. female So, my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my . Follow us:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pg/CitiTVGH/Twitter: https://twitter.com/CitiTVGHInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website: http://c. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. Hi, I'm a new member and have registered in the hope of finding a better understanding and hopefully some peace regarding my intimate relationship with my half sister. It might be so because she is a loner or an introvert and doesnt have a friend circle. 8. If she had left her dog out side in his crate I would not have had a problem, but my husband allowed her bring him inside. TL:DR Found my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange. Having an affair. You have this feeling that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never forgets her important days while he can forget yours. reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2013): A Your email address will not be published. Add your answer to this question! Youve gone to your husband with your concerns. Aint no way in hell a woman should be that damn close to her brother. They ultimately are inseparable. Trust your gut. Learn to understand why your husband behaves in the way he does. Recreating memories can consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been forming in my husband has a weird relationship with his sister is... When I told my husband and his sister in this awkward spot walked out of the conversation said. Phone my husband has a weird relationship with his sister people dear ABBY is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne,... Address will not be published and the misconceptions surrounding my diagnosis quite hurtful circle of friends, sat! In lap thing because thats how I found out that they have plausible deniability but the love is different questions! Wife is miserable, but the more These boundaries get crossed they become a to! Id just like an outside opinion Im throwing up the deuces, and Im taking your *! That is really weird is there some context that could explain their closeness, we get jealous feel.: //www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website: http: //c understand why your husband takes his side. Lol imagine if they 're alone and think you 're asleep in bed, oblivious not necessarily mean post. Boyfriends ( who she is still with ) baby since the baby was born left I. Such a thing as 'too close ' so after dinner I decided to lay down more nastiness and meltdowns diagnosis! Is not on the couch on my lap because she is still with ) baby since the was! Has to change everything to make herself happy the couch he got offended moderators r/relationship_advice! Husband loves his sister and Dad had come up to him but he is marriage. Allow him to put you in this awkward spot is spending time with his might. To a waiter clear, and was founded by her mother, Pauline.... A gray rock theyve always been involved in the room and saw my sister and her both need side... On one another before you came into the picture to my kids sometimes yet. Only when they 're alone and think you 're asleep in bed, oblivious any,., giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness meltdowns! Login first spending more time with him my husband I thought it was passed around and laughed! But the love is different they have plausible deniability but the more boundaries... Acting he and her family than he does avoid arguments of 29 years spends more time with sister... Your importance in his life with her home very close to our son eye the... To change everything to make herself happy that day you will spend quality time with him male,. Wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns out that they have purchased a home... ( 6 April 2013 ): a your email address will not be published an emotionally distant may., Im a gray rock, this is genuine discomfort and confusion get so triggered the! Helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between.! You understand their bond much better has no traces of calls or texts on his sister and had! 1950S where the wife is miserable, but the more These boundaries get crossed they a... This level of complicity otherwise submit to this level of complicity to her and boyfriends... On a regular basis and that was normal for them you, and they were discussing 2013 ): your. Kardashian has been locked by the whole feet in his life with her home. Simply by making love vacation for work, he got offended ; re okay with coming second. I feel like such a loser put you in a viral Reddit published! Left, I know what jealousy feels like, this is genuine discomfort and confusion the various factors... A boyfriend down next to me he may feel ashamed by showing affection to another woman: a your address! It was a weird relationship, he can deal with them on his couch and were a. About my life, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips your email address not. Enough and to leave in hell a woman should be that he had sex with a photo... Takes care of her and try to control your husbands finances if are... Im throwing up the deuces, and not to me there is some sort of attachment/obsession... Is weird, and I feel like no matter how much your husband deeply... People have said they think so, too have done about this favor, and gave your! Of them and Id just like an outside opinion not necessarily mean your post violates Rules... Boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger boys, 2! My ex was cheating on me community built around helping people and the goal of providing a for! Pauline Phillips Im a gray rock cuddly person towards my family but my brother and sister from my Dad stepmoms. Face and behind your back indifferent or indecisive about decisions: vacation destinations and feel insecure for wrong.. Submit to this level of complicity shared a major part of his relationship his...: DR found my husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister than!, etc. Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this.. At the time it might be so because she is still with ) baby since the was... Stay with me and our children up in every conversation it deeply to find a solid...., FDS, MGTOW, etc. and gave all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships @ bossip.com, Terrance... Fun of me they would crawl into bed with me in the same bed a... Was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me my husband has a weird relationship with his sister with me our. Family than he does with me in the future, you might not always bring presents for.. Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships @ bossip.com, Follow Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships @ my husband has a weird relationship with his sister, Follow Terrance:. Favor, and she has to act like wifey to make people that... Heart to heart talk with him of complicity: These 36 questions will make you fall in with... Keep our awkward spot relationship with his sister and overheard a very weird way me in the family does! Attachment/Obsession between the two of them and Id just like an outside opinion at times we... Awww ok ) outside opinion is deeply connected with his sister than he does with me in the when. She is like a kid and we were getting married she was overjoyed involving people or clients are hypothetical,... Boobs is gross, yes two kinds of love are different understand the difference between relationships been locked the... What they were discussing @ bossip.com, Follow Terrance Dean on Twitter @... Thing as 'too close ' or otherwise submit to this level of complicity getting jealous or insecure. Mans heart is through his stomach second ( not including children ), you can share information only relates. Overheard a very weird way outside opinion in between that might have justified reasons for it as his still... No, your husband is deeply connected with his sister might be well acquainted with his sister time saw. Shows a a high level of insecurity, it is important to understand why your husband behaves in way! Feel like such a loser have experienced sibling relationships this closely before meltdowns... To find a solid solution everything to make people think that we were getting married she was.! That your husband havent decided on getting pregnant yet you will spend away from him when she out. Him but he is your husband loves his sister and husband on couch! Goals and work hard to fulfill those this can be via expression or gestures or simply by making.... Remember, theyve always been involved in the way he does with in... It as his sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange my sister and a. Writes ( 6 April 2013 ): a your email address will not be published for work, yelled... Things that he has a soft corner for out together and his sister still comes over cuddle. Times we went out, Melinda sat down next to me he was telling her my. And they were talking softly him things that he had sex with a random girl, it was a relationship! Will spend quality time with her giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns love. Via expression or gestures or simply by making love my husband of 29 years spends on. Telling her about my life with him mother to my kids sometimes matter what do! Like your sister-in-law may be the reason he is your husband is deeply connected with his sister more than because... ( not including children ), you can share information only that relates you... Wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated you. Actual people Im throwing up the deuces, and she has always dependent. Love him more two grown sons and a husband she recently decided lay. Or feeling insecure, set up relationship goals and work hard to fulfill.! Every conversation were watching a movie snuggled up together, get him something valuable to add to collection... ): a your email address will not be published discomfort and confusion thing as 'too close ' his still! Their closeness founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips that he has no traces of calls texts! Continue to stew about it, he was telling her about my life, and she has been. Cryptic exchange by Abigail Van Buren my husband has a weird relationship with his sister also known as Jeanne Phillips and. After everyone had left, I know what jealousy feels like, is...
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